The Women

We were thinking of watching movie 渺渺 tonight. When reaching the movie Miramar, they do not have that one and I just chose "The Women".

It's a movie all about WOMEN. There is no male in the movie other than the baby boy who was born in the end of the movie. So it might be cliche but it's talking about various roles women play in the contemporary society. To be very frank, I wasn't sure if we should go for this movie together because there are some sensitive topics that I yet to figure out how to discuss and share with him including marriage, divorce and relationship with kids & family. There are some questions in my mind, but I don't know if I really want to know what happened as I'm afraid I'm not ready for that yet.

For this movie, I think it's made up of different types of women and their various roles covering career-businesswomen, mother, daughter, wife, friends. Each one may have their own challenges or issues but we all need to decide the type of life we want and just go for it. These few roles are also what I have been thinking over and over.

1. Career-businesswomen: I have been regarded as Businesswomen as I have been very business or career-minded since AIESEC time to my previous job. To be frank, the reason why I chose to join the current company without searching for job at all is because I saw a role model that I wanted to be, a successful businesswomen taking charge of the company and also being a mother and wife. That's what I dreamed of since young.

However, it's different or I should say I have changed. I no longer saw that as a role model as I have not yet really seen a woman who can successfully play the role to be a successful businesswomen, a good wife and a good mother at the same time. We all have limited time, energy and efforts. Most of the women I have seen are juggling the few roles like glass balls on hand at the same time and most of them fail to hold them all successfully as at the end of the day, we all have 2 hands only.

I actually had the idea of having a flexible lifestyle to fit my ideal life for my own business/career (might be running the business together with my husband), for my husband and my kids. As of now, the idea comes stronger as I really like to spend more time with him and possibly the kids in the future.

Interestingly, my business leader gave me this book, 像我一樣勇敢, by Olga 吳美君. She shared the failure as she was fired on three jobs: General Manager of KFC Taiwan, Wife and Mother. After so many things, she learned to have a different life to play these few roles together with a different approach, priority and value. Just like what's described in the movie, when Mary launched her collection successfully in the end and the leading department store wanted to place big order, she wants to think over if she doesn't want to have such a big scope as she would lose the time and energy she's supposed to share with her daughter.

Guess by now, I'm quite clear about the type of life I want. I want to have a job or a business that I can demonstrate my capability and also contribute to the world but I also want to have the spare time and energy to be a good, understanding, supportive wife and mother. That's something I do not want to compromise and that's something I do not think it can be achieved in my current company and position. On top of the passion and interest issues I have, this is the biggest concern and challenge I have on this job.

2. Wife: In any failed marriage especially those because of affairs, people mostly would ask what they have done wrongly. To me, there are only 2 principle that can't be broken. First, no violence and second, no affairs. These two are something I can't compromise. My idea is if we still love each other, we treat the other with all our heart but if either one party does not love the other already, then just speak it out and we do not need to force the other party as the love is no longer exist and it's a torture for that party. So if I really encountered this, I would definitely feel betrayed but I would also walk out of that and stand up firmly to lead my own happy life. I had the experience to be confronted by a married man but I just felt very bad about that as I do not want 3rd party in my marriage and I don't want to be one to others, either.

3. Daughter: Mother is always the role model for the kids especially for the daughter as they are the closest connected 2 people in the world but there are still distance between them. The daughter want to be as good as the mother but they also saw part of their mother's life that they don't want. So there are at times conflicts in between. The daughter wants to seek approval and recognition from the mother as she may realized that they just have different value and priority in life. However, I believe they all love each other all hearted.

4. Mother: I have been thinking about kids and maybe it's because of my age and also my nephews. I want to have 2 kids as one alone is just too lonely. Besides, I would love to and need to spend time with them as I have been the "key kids(鑰鉂兒童) since young. I don't want my kids to have that unsecured feeling like me though I have fully understand why my mother needed to do this arrangement so many years later.

Therefore, I think I'm getting a clearer and clearer picture about my ideal lifestyle and how I want to lead my life. Passion, dream and belief are the fundamental of my life and happiness. Now it's just my courage to act on it.