Nov 2005

This is the last day of Nov 2005. It is considered one of the busiest month and toughest month I have ever got. I am very busy with the continuous exhibitions and events in both Singapore and Malaysia. Therefore, I really quite a lot and only now I realized how tiring it is. So I really admire those international sales people back in Taiwan that they can travel around the world like nobody's business.

Besides, this month is also very tough for me because there are a few small things going on at my work place. It is actually a small issue but I think it affects how I look at my work a lot. We are used to work on weekend or public holidays as we are working on consumer products. Events and exhibitions are part and parcel of our work life. Originally, we are given off day in lieu for working over weekend. I think it is normal as it means the organization recognizes the extra effort and time the staff put in. However, because of some miscommunication and misunderstanding, the management decided to stop this mechanism.

To be frank, I do not really care about the number of off days I got because I always have quite a number of off days being forfeited at the end of year as I can't finish them. To me, the work is always my first priority but I would try to make use of the off days to either be back home or have some holidays around. However, it is more about the feelings we, the staffs, have on this kind of changes as there is no proper communication made on this issue. I am not resistant on changes but I believe staffs need to be involved and explained on some changes involving themselves so that they can understand the reason why and the necessity of those changes. Furthermore, the side effect of this changes may cause some staffs losing the enthusiasms to organize events or exhibitions over weekend as their extra efforts are not recognized in the common way. I was quite upset at the beginning but I guess everything is all right now as I always put those negative thinking and emotions behind very fast and hopefully we are back to the orignial system already.

Anyway, this is the last day of Nov and I got only three more weeks to finish this peak season. Then I would be back to Taiwan for Julie's Wedding (You guys got to check out her wedding photos. She looks SO grogrous.) and enjoy my one week holiday back HOME.

Beside Me?

Has been crazily busy this month and would be like this until the middle of Dec as year end is always our peak season with lots of events and activities. Besides, I also need to travel a lot to Malaysia as I'm working on that market now also.

After this busy schedule and frequent traveling, I started wondering what I want out of this. I think I can still hang on because I have passion toward my work, but now I already felt exhausted and struggle to go through the following 3 tough weeks ahead.

I seem to be in a cycle. I was lost at the beginning of the year but got motivated and stimulated by a friend at the middle of the year. Now coming to the end of the year, I start to reflect on what I have done for the past 6 months. Seems I did have done something different and better. Hopefully, things would keep going on and I would find some other motivation to keep me going.

However, the deep feeling inside me now is "lonely" as most of the days I'm busy with work, and lately I spent quite a number of nights at hotel. What's "beside me" actually? Yes, I can definitely look for friends or families, but sometimes the person I want to talk to is not available or I just can't find a suitable person to share the particular feeling I have at that moment. So what's really left beside me at this kind of lifestyle? Another big question for me to find out.

Went through today with two extreme emotions but good thing is I ended up with the good one. Was exhausted physically and tired mentally this evening, but met up a old friend after working at the show. We talked about life lately and the busy schedule we both had for this month. At the end, he mentioned he forgave me for some decision I made previously. It really relieved me and made me feel that I still got good friends around that I can share life with.

I still got someone beside me I guess.

House Hunting

Just got the bad news that they are going to knock down my sweet home so we got to find another place by the end of this year. It is really a sad news to me as I really like my place a lot. It's a very nice cozy room that I can really have a good rest and I believe this is also one of the best options I can find in Singapore in terms of environment. It should be quite difficult to find another place like this. Too Bad!! Got to start house hunting again. For those who haven't visit my place yet, you may want to plan some trips before end of year so that at least you can experience the nice place you can see from the pictures here. You would definitely love it also. : )

Lipstick Jungle

Bought quite a few books last week during Kinokuniya's 20% discount promotion, the first one I finished is Lipstick Jungle by Candace Bushnell, the writer for Sex and the City. It's about three very successful and powerful women in New York City and how they live differently in this new era. The whole book is very interesting to me as it describes the lives that I desire in terms of success in career. Women are getting more power and control over a lot more things. However, there are a lot more sad things that women nowadays got to learn to handle.

There are more and more women taking up the role of "provider", so-called "the man", in the family. However, men still can't get away the stereotype they need to be in power. Or I should say the society still can't accept this kind of changes. So men like those are losing their self esteems and it may cause some family crisis. I guess I myself also can't get away with this concept. So I am actually looking for men who I think strong enough and can take care of me both financially and mentally. However, it's getting tougher and tougher as women nowadays can afford almost everything we require in life. So financial part seems to be only a symbol but just required. The mental part became more crucial in the whole relationship but that's also the most difficult part as people nowadays may not really have time to understand and spend with each other to get the mental satisfaction.

So for my case, I actually came out a theory. I want to find someone who is compatible with me in terms of aggressiveness in work. However, if both of us are working towards our own career, it may end up that either one of us feels that the other party is selfish and only focus on work. So the best case is to find someone who can also be my partner in work, but that's only the ideal situation. It's so difficult to find someone to live together already. It would be even more difficult to find one to live and work together at the same time. Anyway, this is just a theory and need to be proved.