Ending and Starting

We need to end so as to have a start.  Therefore, I decided to end my current job so as to enter into another era.  I have been in this HR Consulting/Head Hunting line for about 2 year.  It's not really long but long enough for me to realize a solid working experience and foundation is needed to really perform and advise clients.  So I decided to move on either start up a small business by myself or enter into corporate in 5 or 6 months later if I do not manage to come out something solid.

Ideally, I would like to have a flexible lifestyle in terms of time management and traveling.  I believe once my boyfriend starts working, he would be much busier than I was and therefore I want to have a flexible lifestyle to suit his.  Besides, his location would definitely not be in Taiwan because of the scope.  I want to be where he is but I also want to spend time with my parents back here.  Therefore, I believe a small business of mine to have some income and also the flexibility for my love ones would be the most ideal for me.  My last day is 31st Dec 2008 and I would start the new chapter on the firsts day of a new year!! : )

Happy New Year to all of you and  a great start for everyone of us!!

The Women

We were thinking of watching movie 渺渺 tonight. When reaching the movie Miramar, they do not have that one and I just chose "The Women".

It's a movie all about WOMEN. There is no male in the movie other than the baby boy who was born in the end of the movie. So it might be cliche but it's talking about various roles women play in the contemporary society. To be very frank, I wasn't sure if we should go for this movie together because there are some sensitive topics that I yet to figure out how to discuss and share with him including marriage, divorce and relationship with kids & family. There are some questions in my mind, but I don't know if I really want to know what happened as I'm afraid I'm not ready for that yet.

For this movie, I think it's made up of different types of women and their various roles covering career-businesswomen, mother, daughter, wife, friends. Each one may have their own challenges or issues but we all need to decide the type of life we want and just go for it. These few roles are also what I have been thinking over and over.

1. Career-businesswomen: I have been regarded as Businesswomen as I have been very business or career-minded since AIESEC time to my previous job. To be frank, the reason why I chose to join the current company without searching for job at all is because I saw a role model that I wanted to be, a successful businesswomen taking charge of the company and also being a mother and wife. That's what I dreamed of since young.

However, it's different or I should say I have changed. I no longer saw that as a role model as I have not yet really seen a woman who can successfully play the role to be a successful businesswomen, a good wife and a good mother at the same time. We all have limited time, energy and efforts. Most of the women I have seen are juggling the few roles like glass balls on hand at the same time and most of them fail to hold them all successfully as at the end of the day, we all have 2 hands only.

I actually had the idea of having a flexible lifestyle to fit my ideal life for my own business/career (might be running the business together with my husband), for my husband and my kids. As of now, the idea comes stronger as I really like to spend more time with him and possibly the kids in the future.

Interestingly, my business leader gave me this book, 像我一樣勇敢, by Olga 吳美君. She shared the failure as she was fired on three jobs: General Manager of KFC Taiwan, Wife and Mother. After so many things, she learned to have a different life to play these few roles together with a different approach, priority and value. Just like what's described in the movie, when Mary launched her collection successfully in the end and the leading department store wanted to place big order, she wants to think over if she doesn't want to have such a big scope as she would lose the time and energy she's supposed to share with her daughter.

Guess by now, I'm quite clear about the type of life I want. I want to have a job or a business that I can demonstrate my capability and also contribute to the world but I also want to have the spare time and energy to be a good, understanding, supportive wife and mother. That's something I do not want to compromise and that's something I do not think it can be achieved in my current company and position. On top of the passion and interest issues I have, this is the biggest concern and challenge I have on this job.

2. Wife: In any failed marriage especially those because of affairs, people mostly would ask what they have done wrongly. To me, there are only 2 principle that can't be broken. First, no violence and second, no affairs. These two are something I can't compromise. My idea is if we still love each other, we treat the other with all our heart but if either one party does not love the other already, then just speak it out and we do not need to force the other party as the love is no longer exist and it's a torture for that party. So if I really encountered this, I would definitely feel betrayed but I would also walk out of that and stand up firmly to lead my own happy life. I had the experience to be confronted by a married man but I just felt very bad about that as I do not want 3rd party in my marriage and I don't want to be one to others, either.

3. Daughter: Mother is always the role model for the kids especially for the daughter as they are the closest connected 2 people in the world but there are still distance between them. The daughter want to be as good as the mother but they also saw part of their mother's life that they don't want. So there are at times conflicts in between. The daughter wants to seek approval and recognition from the mother as she may realized that they just have different value and priority in life. However, I believe they all love each other all hearted.

4. Mother: I have been thinking about kids and maybe it's because of my age and also my nephews. I want to have 2 kids as one alone is just too lonely. Besides, I would love to and need to spend time with them as I have been the "key kids(鑰鉂兒童) since young. I don't want my kids to have that unsecured feeling like me though I have fully understand why my mother needed to do this arrangement so many years later.

Therefore, I think I'm getting a clearer and clearer picture about my ideal lifestyle and how I want to lead my life. Passion, dream and belief are the fundamental of my life and happiness. Now it's just my courage to act on it.

Life

I started to have a different lifestyle lately because of my partner in life. Other than the regular dinner we have together for most of the days, we enjoy various activities including concerts, musics, arts and some outings. The very first place we went is the Palace Museum as I have be thinking of going but can't really find a good partner.

Last Sunday, we went for St. Petersburg Philharmonic Orchestra's Performance in Taipei. The first piece is Tchaikovsky Piano Concerto No. 1 and Denis Matsuev is really AMAZING!! I have not listened to performance like this for a long long time. They are really good as one of the top three orchestras in Europe.

Yesterday, we went for Sandy Lim's concert. I started to listen to her song since high school. She got a very touching voice and also the songs are just so classical for my precious memories. " 至少還有你" is my favorite song that I would sing every time in KTV.

曲︰DAVY CHAN 詞︰林夕 編︰劉志遠
我怕來不及　我要抱著你
直到感覺你的皺紋　有了歲月的痕跡
直到肯定你是真的
直到失去力氣
為了你　我願意

動也不能動　也要看著你
直到感覺你的髮線　有了白雪的痕跡
直到視線變得模糊
直到不能呼吸
讓我們　形影不離

如果　全世界我也可以放棄
至少還有你　值得我去珍惜
而你在這裡　就是生命的奇蹟
也許　全世界我也可以忘記
就是不願意　失去你的消息
你掌心的痣　我總記得在哪裡
我怕來不及　我要抱著你
直到感覺你的髮線　有了白雪的痕跡
直到視線變得模糊　
直到不能呼吸
讓我們　形影不離

我們好不容易　
我們身不由己
我怕時間太快　不夠將你看仔細
我怕時間太慢　日夜擔心失去你
恨不得一夜之間白頭　永不分離

We all have some wonderful memory in life. Bitter or Sweet, they are part of our life. I always believe there is nothing to regret for though we may feel pity for something we miss. However, in the end of day, I would enjoy every single moment with positive energy and attitude.

One Month

In the past one month, I have been through some unique experiences.

1. Nationality Convertion: I've officially converted my nationality to be a Singaporean. There are a lot of different thoughts in between but finally I made the decision and executed. Therefore, I spend one week plus in Singapore to register and process for my passport. In the past 2 weeks, I was waiting for my Taiwan work permit and also just returned from Hong Kong last Friday with my working/resident visa. It's very interesting experience when holding a different passport entering my motherland and even got to apply for Visa here but anyways, it's just part of the process for my next stage of life.

2. Work: I've never see myself as an employee as I only believe in running the business together with the organization so that I can "work" as though it's my own business. However, we encountered some severe casualty lately and I believe it's more about internal issues from the management style, philosophy, viewpoints and approaches. Though the market is getting tougher especially in this uncertain market situation, there are still a lot of organizations growing with enormous speed and it's because they have a group of people with united heart and belief. I'm still monitoring and observing how the organization is handing this challenge and situation as that's the best way for me to see the real way they look at people. This would also be the foundation for me to decide for the next step.

3. Life: I've also entered a relationship one month plus ago. Everything just happened so fast and it's just like a miracle. The first time, I haven't seen any conflicts between 2 people in all the aspects other than the possible feedback from my family. The most important thing I learned in the past one month plus is we all can be easily satisfied with basic and simple stuff; just a simple meal or a short walk can be so satisfying as long as with the right person.

So now, I'm a happy and satisfied "little woman" and look forward to the next stage to come in my life.

Annual Function in Hokkaido

It's our annual company function last weekend in Hokkaido and it's also my first time participating. It's kind of recognization event so that we need to meet certain criteria to be eligible for the event. Basically, it's a GROUP tour to me and I'm not really used to this as we spend most of the time on traveling to visit a lot of tourist sites. However, my traveling style is more towards long stay at one location and really walk around the city to have a feel about the life there.

Anyway, it's still an interesting event especially for the Gala Dinner - Oscar Night. So I put on my usual and only one DRESS and the eye-catching effect is really quite good.

星盤

這兩天跟同事再聊天談到雖然我是射手座但我命盤裡一定有顆星在處女座, 因為我那個同事是處女座的也覺得我們有點雷同的地方. 所以我就去yahoo看了一下, 分析的內容還真有趣!

太陽落在射手座(25度)；在命盤的第8宮
月亮落在獅子座(7度)；在命盤的第4宮
水星落在射手座(5度)；在命盤的第7宮
金星落在天蠍座(14度)；在命盤的第6宮
火星落在摩羯座(4度)；在命盤的第8宮
木星落在獅子座(8度)；在命盤的第4宮
土星落在處女座(13度)；在命盤的第5宮
天王星落在天蠍座(19度)；在命盤的第7宮
海王星落在射手座(18度)；在命盤的第8宮
冥王星落在天秤座(18度)；在命盤的第6宮
上升星座落在金牛座(18度)

太陽位於射手座--「大口喝酒，大塊吃肉」的江湖兒女，
個性特質: 開朗、義氣、冒險、粗枝大葉
用兩句話來形容你吧!
1.個性開朗樂觀，重視朋友
2.作風海派，具冒險精神。

太陽代表自我、外在形象、外顯的和生命能量。太陽位於射手座的人們生性海派、作風豪氣萬千，是相當夠義氣的朋友。你們個性開朗樂觀，人緣頗佳；新奇的事物對你們有著無比的吸引力。太陽位於射手座的人們有著相當開朗的性格特質，你們坦白、樂觀，凡事直來直往；跟你們相處毫無壓力，而且常被你們隨和明朗的個性所吸引，因此射手座的人們是頗有人緣的一群。在木星的護衛之下，射手座的你們作風海派，凡事不拘小節，是標準「四海之內皆兄弟」的大俠型人物。也由於你們夠朋友、講義氣的行事風格，使射手座的人們在社會上可說是處處遇貴人，大家都很願意在你們需要幫助時助你們一臂之力。射手座的子民精力充沛，而且極具冒險精神；你們對新事物有強烈的渴望，而且愈具挑戰性的事情愈能激起你們的興趣。所以射手座的人們愛好旅行、樂於嘗試驚險刺激的活動，這種新奇且充滿冒險精神的生活是你們夢寐以求的。而射手座人們這種愛好冒險的天性也常表現在思維以及精神層面方面，使得你們創造力豐富，常有些天馬行空的想法出現。射手一族的你們愛好自由、行動力強，常給人一種粗枝大葉的感覺。

月亮在獅子座--喜歡受人矚目的天之驕子
個性特質: 驕矜、浪漫、講義氣、固執、自誇
用兩句話來形容你吧!
1.在情感上十分驕傲，喜歡別人對自己稱臣，生活上非常需要浪漫和愛情的滋潤。
2.對朋友非常講義氣，具有開朗樂觀的前進精神，凡事喜歡以自我為中心，有固執的傾向。
誕生在月亮位於獅子座時期的人在感情上是一名不折不扣的帝王，你們擁有驕傲的特性，往往得要別人先對你示好，你才會開始考慮愛上對方的可能性。在群體裡月獅子非常喜歡受人矚目，因此獅子一族會用盡全力爭取有份量的位置來表現自己。與親朋好友相處的時候，獅子總會有意無意的處於主導地位，甚至有操控他人的傾向。可以說不論在感情上或相處的模式上，月獅子喜歡讓別人跟隨你們的計劃和腳步走，而你們自己則很少傾聽別人的聲音。月亮出現在獅子座的人自尊心和權力慾望比一般人強，所以和眾人相處的時候往往有控制別人的傾向，你們會樂於爭取團體中最引人注目的位置以獲得別人的尊重和讚美，因為月亮出現在獅子座的人喜歡感覺自己是重要的，被他人需要。你們在情感上往往十分的浪漫和博愛，這種博愛是源自內心深處的活力及被需要的渴望，因此可以說月亮出現在獅子座的人往往是因為先感覺到別人對自己的需要和喜愛，才喜愛別人，你們的愛相當於一種回報，甚至可以說有一點施捨的意味在內。一般說來，月亮位於這個位置的人情緒和感情多屬於正面性質，會使得你們失去風度在人前發怒甚至口不擇言的原因只有一個，那就是自尊心或權威地位遭受挑戰。即使兩方對峙，你們堅持的意見是錯誤的，獅子座的子民也會為了捍衛自己的面子毫不認錯。

水星在射手座--追求崇高社會地位的衛道人士
個性特質: 直接、傳統、崇尚權威、偽善
用兩句話來形容你吧!
1.容易被表象迷惑，而忽略事實真相，追求工作領域中的權威地位。
2.追求心靈自由，對哲學宗教深感興趣，思考以傳統道德和社會規範為前提。
水星在射手座位置的人對於社會學、宗教學和哲學等學問容易發生興趣，而這些思想在你們的思考過程中也扮演一個重要的角色，因此水星射手的思考模式會發生一個現象，雖然你們有射手座追求心靈自由和解放的渴望，可是你們尋求心靈解放的方式往往不脫傳統方法，例如從宗教或神秘學上尋求人心的解脫。水星出現在射手座的人表達方式會非常直接，你們會明白地告訴別人心中的想法，但是不一定會用情緒化的詞語。你們的道德感強烈，往往會不自覺的對別人做精神道德訓話，但是由於水星射手族人的道德觀來自於整個社會和傳統體系，你們的道德標準很難脫出整個社會約定俗成的範圍。水星在射手座的人對於工作領域有一種唯我獨尊的心理。你們希望自己成為專業中的權威，或是頂尖人士，這是源自於你們希望受到他人尊重的心理，而且一旦成為專業領域中的頂尖，就可以恣意地發揮，沒有人可以干涉，你們的一切成就將成為最高指導原則，也就是真理的化身。

金星位於天蠍座--敢愛敢恨的狂野分子
個性特質: 具性魅力、性慾強、敢愛敢恨、佔有慾強
用兩句話來形容你吧!
1.具性感魅力，感情濃烈、愛恨分明。
2.有縱情性慾的傾向，對玄學及神秘學有興趣。
金星位於天蠍座的人們感情濃烈，充滿了原始的性魅力。你們敢愛敢恨，佔有慾強，常給對方過大壓力。性慾強烈，有沉迷於肉慾中的可能。喜愛風格強烈的藝術作品，對神秘學有興趣。金星代表情感的表達、愛情關係和審美觀。金星位於天蠍座的人們熱情、深具魅力，不論是感情還是性慾都相當的強烈。你們的感情中帶有濃烈的性渴望，渾身充滿了動物性的原始魅力；性慾強烈、總是慾求不滿，常會陷入肉慾的深淵而不可自拔。金星位於這個位置的人們感情濃烈、敢愛敢恨；你們可以為愛完全的付出，但是一旦你們察覺到愛人的背叛行為，那種強烈的報復火焰也會讓人吃驚。你們對另一半佔有慾強烈，醋勁頗大，有時會讓人無法消受。因為處於金星護衛的金牛座對宮，金星位於這個位置是不利的。你們對於愛情過分的投入，不但給予對方太大的壓力，稍有不慎更可能會導致玉石俱焚的情況，這是金星位於天蠍座人們該注意的。你們喜愛強烈的藝術風格，對神秘學及玄學也很有天賦。

火星位於摩羯座--謹慎規律的經營家
個性特質: 重實際、企圖心強、生活規律、過於權謀
用兩句話來形容你吧!
1.努力追求更高的地位和收入，行事沉穩有計劃。
2.生活簡單而規律，為達目的不擇手段。
火星位於摩羯座的人們對自己的事業顯得企圖心旺盛；你們總是按部就班的完成自己的目標。這類人渴望高的地位和好的收入，你們是相當重視實際的一群。在生活上十分規律，你們對於散漫情況是不能接受的。火星代表的是能量、意志、爆發力和生命力的展現方式。火星位於摩羯座的人們具有充沛的活力，尤其在事業方面更顯得雄心勃勃；許多成功的企業家和政治人物都是這類人。你們重視實際，努力追求更高的社會地位和物質上的收入；你們的行動力旺盛且控制得宜，這使得你們付出的心力都能達到事半功倍的效果。火星位於這個位置的人們崇尚規範和紀律，你們總是按部就班、作息固定的工作和生活；對於怠惰和散漫的情形是無法忍受的。你們對自己有極高的期望，並渴望獲得權勢及地位；一旦目標確立，你們就會全力朝目標邁進；不達目標，決不終止。但有時卻會有過於權謀和「為達目的，不擇手段」的情況，是令人敬畏的對手。

木星在獅子座--溫暖而具有權威感的導師
個性特質: 自信、驕傲、喜好奢華、義氣
用兩句話來形容你吧!
1.非常著重程序及外貌，因此喜歡盛大的場面，容易鋪張浪費。
2.是團體中的領導人物，但容易因自信而剛愎自用，崇尚權威，常保持一種高高在上的姿態。
木星在獅子座的人有著好大喜功的傾向，因此雖然你們對宗教、哲學、高等教育十分有興趣，然而這些事物吸引你們的地方往往是表象、華麗的部分。例如宗教慶典的盛大場面、一流學校的文憑等。你們很少注意這些事物的精神意義，看中的是它們可以讓你們在現實社會中增值的部分。木星獅子因為崇尚權力和自信的特質，容易成為團體中的領袖，你們擁有的熱情足以激勵人心，引發改革的力量，但是過分自信容易導致自我膨脹，引來別人的反感，因此你們必須學習適時接納別人的意見，並且學習付出與合作，才能夠使你們在團體中擁有屹立不搖的地位，成為真正的精神領袖。成熟的木星獅子可以發揮個性中的優點，例如寬厚、仁慈、關懷別人。同時你們對於哲學、宗教也會產生更深一層的興趣，如果認真投入鑽研，可以得到成就，這種成就可以更加發揮出你們個性中仁慈、溫暖的優點，幫助你得到別人真心的喜愛和擁戴。木星出現在獅子座的人容易成為年輕朋友的精神導師，這是因為你們十分注意個人心智成熟的歷程，你們往往在到達心智成熟的境界時回過頭去帶領年輕的一輩，為他們解決邁向成熟過程中的困難。木星獅子的周圍很容易出現一批年輕有為、人格成熟的傑出人才，這源於木星獅子不吝於分享智慧與經驗。

土星在處女座--講求精確和效率的完美主義者
個性特質: 實際、勤勉、嚴厲、效率
用兩句話來形容你吧!
1.做事實際有效率，太注重原則，以至給人不知變通感。
2.太過自我節制，以至於無法放鬆情緒而危害到健康。
土星處女的人辦事極有效率，而且具有精準、細心的特性，所以秘書類或管理類的工作十分適合你們，此外，科學、醫藥領域也時常出現土星處女的蹤跡。不過嚴謹的辦事態度往往會帶給下屬或團隊內其他成員非常大的壓力，尤其處女座特有的追求完美的特性，更會讓你們在工作上少了許多協調的空間，這是不可不小心的，別忘了規矩是死的，人可是活的，變通是你們需要學習的課題。土星處女的另一個毛病出在太過細心這一點上。你們往往會因為太過注意細部的事情而忽略了整體的規劃，在這一點上，可以看出土星處女一族在擔當大任的時候容易失敗的原因──你們對整個大計劃不是沒有概念，而是注意力過於集中於全豹的一斑，等所有的細節都處理好的時候，往往已經超過計劃的完成期限了。處女座的位置中出現土星的人有一個很大的優點──具有無比的耐心，這是你們十分適合擔任科學工作的一項重要優點。你們可以不厭其煩的一再實驗、分析、求證，直到求出最正確可信的數據，所以傑出的科學家或是醫藥界的人員往往會有土星處女的相位。

天王星位於天蠍座--新舊衝突的一代
個性特質: 具力量、慾念強、神秘氣質
用兩句話來形容你吧!
1.具有重生的神秘潛能，意志力強，喜愛掌控一切。
2.對超自然世界有興趣，代表一個變動劇烈的時代。
天王星每八十四年運行黃道十二宮一周；因此在每個特定七年中出生的人們，他們的天王星都將落在相同的宮位。因此與其說天王星對個人有什麼重大的影響，倒不如說它主導了一個世代人們的意念與想法。天王星位於天蠍座的人們具力量、意志力強，具有神秘驚人的潛能。慾望強烈，對死亡和靈魂有興趣。這代表一個新舊交替，變動劇烈的時代。天王星象徵改革、創新以及人道主義，它同時也主宰了一個世代的命運。天王星位於天蠍座的人們具有一種神秘氣質，時有「置之死地而後生」的驚人之舉；意志力堅強，對事務有強烈的掌控慾望。天王星位於這個位置的人對於超自然的力量有著莫名的興趣，你們對於死亡學以及靈魂學方面的看法亦相當有見地。當主宰改革的天王星運行至象徵重生的天蠍座，那種毀滅而後再造的力量無疑是強大的。這個世代暗示著舊秩序的毀滅和新思維的誕生。天王星對於個人層面的影響還需參看其所坐落的後天十二宮的位置，並加以相互參照論斷。

海王星位於射手座--思想充分交流的時代
個性特質: 直覺、重精神層面、交流
用兩句話來形容你吧!
1.重性靈提升的世代，宗教和思想上的交流。
2.傑出的心智能力
海王星每一百六十四年運行黃道十二宮一周；因此在每個特定十四年中出生的人們，他們的海王星都將落在相同的宮位。因此與其說海王星對個人有什麼重大的影響，倒不如說它主導了一個世代人們的意念與想法。海王星代表潛意識、夢的暗示以及性靈向上提升或向下沉淪的力量。海王星運行至射手座暗示了一個重視宗教和講求性靈提升的時代來臨。這個世代在宗教以及思想上的發展和交流趨於蓬勃，人們對於精神層面的事務也更感興趣。海王星位於射手座的人們對宗教以及神秘學具特殊直覺及興趣；你們相信世界萬物有一個主導力量的存在，你們也願意去追隨進而探究它。這類人具有較高的心智能力，有成為先知的可能。海王星對於個人層面的影響還需參看其所坐落的後天十二宮的位置，並加以相互參照論斷。

冥王星在天秤座--追求公理的一代
個性特質: 正義、仲裁、和諧、負責
用兩句話來形容你吧!
1.勇於肩負責任，以使世界晉陞美好的境界。
2.積極解決國際和人際問題，追求和諧穩定的環境。
冥王星是移動最緩慢的一顆行星，需要二百四十八年左右才能繞行黃道一周。它停留在每個星座的時間由十二到二十三年不等，並且它對於時代的影響大過於對個人的影響。冥王星在天秤座的時代是一個和諧的時代，人類在這個時期對於自己所肩負的責任會重新審視，而且為了使世界達到更和諧的狀態，人類會更勇敢地面對他們的社會責任。這個時期人們的正義感和責任心強烈，正義道德的社會議題不斷出現並且被廣泛的討論，國際正義和國際仲裁等事件也會立即引起全球注意，並且會積極尋求公平解決的方式。冥王星對個人及事物的影響，主要視其所坐落的後天十二宮宮位而定，請進一步參考您後天十二宮的分析。

上升星座為金牛座--作風沉穩的財神爺
個性特質: 沉穩、重金錢、安全感、好客
用兩句話來形容你吧!
1.行事穩重但步調稍慢，重視財富和生活品質。
2.在商場上創意足，對情人顯得挑剔。
上升星座主宰了一個人主要的個性特質、與生俱來的性格以及給人的第一印象。上升星座為金牛座的人們個性沉穩、步調慢，有時會讓人覺得不耐煩。你們重視生活上的享受和充分的安全感；因此，財富是上升牛座人一生追求的主要目標。上升星座為金牛座的人們在事業上顯得相當具有獨創性。你們總是有各式各樣新奇的賺錢點子，讓別人跟也跟不上。上升牛座的你們善於溝通協調，在事業上常能因此而得道多助，有好的發展。如果身為高層主管更是具有好的管理手腕，對下屬一視同仁，常獲得好的評價。上升星座位於這個位置的人喜歡在家中或在家族聚會的場合展示自己的地位與能力；十分好客，對客人總是熱情的招待。你們有繼承遺產及祖業的可能。上升牛座的人們在面對感情時顯得神經質；你們對另一半相當挑剔，不容有一絲一毫的差錯，這常使得你們的情人承受巨大壓力。上升牛座的人對權力地位有強烈慾望；你們非常渴望與優秀的同伴一起共事，但隨之而來的忌妒與猜忌常會造成組織內的紛擾。

A New Beijing Experience

This is my 5th trip to Beijing this year. I didn't really got chance to walk around this city as I only stayed over one weekend. However, this time, I really experienced the unique weather here.

The temperature dropped to around 10 degree since last Wed but it's very similar to the weather in Europe. It's just cooling but sunny sometimes, which was quite enjoyable provided that I did bring some appropriate clothes with me. Heard from my colleagues that it was not that easy to see the BLUE BLUE sky in Beijing because of the weather and the air pollution. I would have to say I'm really lucky to be there last week although I've also caught a cold because of the sudden weather change.


However, because of the weather change, I've also found the famous Master Kong Beef Noodle (康師傅私房牛肉麵) which is a successful Taiwanese Beef Noodle chain store in China. I got the chance to taste the familiar hometown taste and also the hot soup during the cooling day. Really satisfying!!

My Ideal Apartment

We finally found a nice service apartment with reasonable price in Beijing and I would have to say this is my ideal apartment especially now I do think of buying a small space for myself. What I need is a separate living room, kitchen, bedroom and bathroom. Th space is about 70 square meter and it's really sufficient for one person or even two.




I actually was thinking if open kitchen would work for me as some of my favorite dishes are stir fry but that might be good to push me to adopt healthier cooking methods.


As to the bedroom, the most important part for me is the bed. I need a comfortable mattress, bed sheet, pillow and quilt to really have a good night sleep and rest. More importantly is the CARPET. The one they have in the bedroom is really very nice.


The last one is bathroom with BATHTUB. A bath at the end of the day can really help me release the stress and also can help blood circulation.

I would have to say I've found a ideal design for my own apartment and should work on it continuously.

Reflection and Decision 最終話

前兩個禮拜在跟我北京的leader談完後
也有機會跟我大老闆談了一下
他開門見山地問我是不是想quit
老實說我是真的有在想

但他也直接指出我只是一直想要追求我要的
但我的問題在於我不清楚知道我要的到底是什麼
所以我只要一開始這個所謂"追尋"的過程
這將會是個無止盡的過程
因為一當我們開始專注在我們所沒有的
我們就一直在匱乏的心態跟想法
但我沒想到是我已經是很幸運的了
我沒看到我手上已經有了很多的東西
我有一群value我的leaders, 同事, 家人, 朋友
所以我應該轉移我的focus到what I can give
簡單的來說就是一個giving mindset

所以這個禮拜在北京我用了一個完全不同的態度及想法跟Candidate, 客戶或同事互動
那個感覺及對方的回應完全不一樣

所以我只能說我覺得繼續在我的崗位上盡我所能
不再去強求一些還沒有答案的問題
最近讀到篇文章的topic是
Let nature take its course! Don't fight with it but flow with it!
這會是我最updated的人生態度吧!

My Type

最近大家才在問我
What type is my type?

今天台北香港的班機上看到了張震

才知道他的型是我的type

今天的他有點頹廢

ㄧ臉鬍渣髮型跟第二張照片比較類似

ㄧ看到就粉有感覺

之前老闆找我飛北京的時候

就說我既然沒時間social

在飛機上應該可以看到一些人

竟然給他說中了

不過要真的"碰"到一些人可就沒那麼簡單嚕...

Sandy & Jun's Wedding

Sandy and Jun got married last weekend when we have the biggest typhoon in Taiwan. Our gang of girls are just the Organizing Committee Members. I'm the one looking after the logistics but thanks for Emily, she is the mastermind of the whole event.

The first session is on Saturday night, 14th Sep, at a nice resort Young Lake Hotel (明湖水漾). A very nice and cosy place. We were planning a garden wedding as the view outside is very nice but we got to change to indoor because of the typhoon. Though we don't really have all the 180 guests, there were still 130 people there even though it's a STRONGEST typhoon. We were joking even Typhoon are here for Sandy and Jun's wedding.

There is another session on Sunday, 15th Sep, lunch and it's a Local Taiwanese style with KTV. This one is much easeir as we didn't need to plan any programs and the guests would just go up to SING!! That was an eye-opening event for the overseas guests. : )

I'm really happy to see Sandy find her life-time partner and because of this, she decided to move to Japan to be able to stay together with Jun. That's love and destiny I guess.

They would have another wedding ceremony in Japan next April and we are going to organize a Sakura Trip all together then. haha..

Reflection and Decision 後話(ㄧ)

剛跟我北京的leaderㄧ起用晚餐
真是對他很不好意思
在這個多事之秋還多丟了個難題給她

講完了我的想法
她的回應竟是我的更年期到了
不過這個是29轉30歲單身女性的更年期
更有趣的是
他一直在想公司內還有哪些角色我可能有興趣而且適合的
因為他覺得我這只是過度期的反應
過了30歲之後就會發覺我當初怎麼會做那樣的反應跟決定

老實說我也在想怎樣是對大家最好的安排
真的不想因為我而帶來不好的影響
好好想想...

Reflection and Decision

前兩天去誠品買書的時候看到他獨奏會的傳單
最後一次聯絡已經是一年多前的事
當時並沒有太深刻的感覺
只是無法理解為何不能當面說清楚就這樣消失
(或是我假裝沒有感覺;我已經太習慣隱藏自己的感覺及情緒)
或許對他來說沒有解釋的必要

偶而在看音樂廳節目表時會想起他
但最近發生的事及我在思考的東西讓我清楚回想起他跟我說過的話
或許真的因為他過去教練的身分或是每個進出我們生命的人都是我們的導師
我開始用不同的角度審視自己的生命及生活
也因此做了些重要的決定

一直以為我是非常的獨立、堅強、而且自主的人
但是最近才認知到我一直活在這個獨立、堅強的形象及框架裡
或許因為獨生女的原因
從小就被教育的要非常獨立、凡事靠自己
因為我沒有任何人可以依靠
而且我還要肩負起照顧父母親的責任
再加上因為身旁眾多外遇及離婚的例子
我心底對感情及婚姻是抱持著懷疑且害怕的態度

所以我越害怕便越武裝自己
我告訴自己越不在乎便越不會因為失去而痛苦
所以我埋藏我的感覺及情緒
變成了一個冷酷、冷靜、理性的人

曾經思考過為何在已明確知道我們會有的衝突下
還是決定走進那段感情
現在回想起來
我清楚知道那段時間是我開始認知及感受到那個深藏在我內心深處的真我
那個脆弱及害怕失去的小女孩
他獨特敏感的感受力
看到了那個小女孩也看透了我
但也因為我本能的掙扎、本能的想維持我那塑造出來的能幹形象
讓他在幾次嘗試之後放棄了我

而最近在工作上及生活上的幾個事件
讓我清楚的了解到
我一直生活在別人的期望中
做的事情都是為了符合大家的期望以及自己一句我怎麼可以或可能做不到
去年年初開始這份工作，剛開始的六個月是非常辛苦的
我做不出成績來
但我不相信我做不到，再加上我有個很好的mentor(現在是我的好姊姊)
我硬是拼到一個不錯的成績，但老實說裡面有很多大家的幫助

今年七月之後，因為一些事件讓我開始思考我想要什麼
老實說工作上我並不真的享受
我不覺得以我現在的經驗及能力能夠真的給予客戶及candidate建議
所以我不喜歡這種很虛的感覺
做業務最痛苦的應該就是不能deliver當初給客戶的承諾吧
八月初有個同事離職
公司高層的反應也讓我覺得我不能輕易放棄
所以我決定要撐下來
但八月中看到了一個生命逝去
讓我深刻感受到如果我不快樂、我不享受、我不喜歡
硬撐下去那又如何?
沒有人知道明天或後天會發生什麼事
如果我還繼續再做一些我不真的享受的事只是為了證明我可以而且符合大家的期望
那有什麼意義嗎?
公司曾幫我們做過指紋分析
其中一個有關於我的例子
就是個在舞台上表演的小孩
他從頭哭到尾但卻是唯一把動作都做完整也做好的小孩
但我清楚知道我不想要自己是那樣

當然我跟一些人討論這個情形
但讓我訝異又難過的是我母親的反應
當她聽到我想離開的想法
她的反應是我是個沒有責任感、懦弱、膽小、沒有能力也沒有擔當的人
怎麼可以碰到困難就想離開
她還要靠我生活、靠我養
我怎麼可以就這樣休息不工作
霎時之間我才了解到我一直生活在她期望的形象中
我必須要獨立、堅強、負責任、能幹
我必須要對她們負責、我必須要養她們、我不能就結婚另組家庭而把她們拋下
老實說，我不怪她
我可以理解她害怕被丟下的感覺

但我也因此理解到她心底從小就教育我不要相信感情及婚姻的原因
因為我另組家庭就因此離他們倆遠去
那種想要我”幸福”但又怕我丟下她的感覺
但我不想再被這些形象、期望所操縱
我只想活出我自己、過我想過而且歡喜的生活

所以我決定要休息
去做那些永遠在我wish list上卻永遠沒有時間跟機會做的事
我要去潛水(我已經四年沒下水，我不敢相信我竟然這樣對我自己)、回去斷食營、旅行、做眼睛雷射手術、調養身體回復我容光煥發的面容跟身材、做瑜珈、按摩、泡溫泉、泡書店、學跳舞、拍個人照、還要榮重慶祝我30歲生日!!

工作上我還沒跟老闆們明講我想要離職而不只是休息
因為我還不能理解他們為什麼一直想留我
我承認我工作很認真，我從不把自己只當員工而是當作自己的事業在作
所以我一定要對我的工作、事業有熱情
但我清楚看到我其實並不喜歡這份工作
只是為了證明我可以做到而一直撐下來
就算是一開始，我還清楚記的他問我為什麼要做的這麼辛苦
每次接我下班，只看到一個全身虛脫的我而感受不到我的快樂及熱情

老實說，很多話他當時跟我說我都不能接受
覺得他只是很大男人地評論我的工作、生活、及責任感
現在才知道他點出了很多我不知道也不敢去面對的問題

這兩天原本還在想應該跟公司說要休長假還是就提離職
但經過這樣的思考跟分析
我想過了三個月之後
我也不會變得喜歡這份工作
我也不想再過這樣每天忙來忙去卻空虛的日子

我想要從容優雅的過我的每一天
所以我想答案應該很明顯了

我現在其實是在香港飛北京的飛機上
前兩天還在想我星期五跟大老闆談完之後應該就不會飛了吧
但沒想到他的行程又有了改變
所以我們應該只有明天在北京才有機會談這件事吧

但我最過意不去的應該是我在北京的leader
在她們最需要協助的時候離去
但我相信這個集團及這群人可以克服所有的困難
缺一個我也不會有太多的差別的

所以接下來要想的事怎麼去創造一個可以讓我有自由生活的工作模式
在思考一些可以協助之前公司或朋友的方法
讓我可以享有自由的工作模式也可以有份收入

人真的是會改變的(我媽說我是善變的!!)
不同的階段也不同的想法
總以為我是事業心很強的
但現在覺得我是那種可以為了家庭及小孩放下事業的人
或許我現在正當在尋偶期的高峰吧!!

海角七號

很久沒有看到這麼令人驚艷的電影

就算是好萊屋巨片也沒能讓我兩個小時又十分鐘不停的笑又不停的哭

內容就不在這裡多提了

反正是推薦一定要去看的

對我來說
最近一直在思考我人生所要追求的什麼
感覺上被很多有形無形的東西牽絆著我
而在這框架中無法伸展
也看不到真正的自我

片中人物在感情上的流露
真實的面對自己的感情
應該是我最感動也是現在最該做的事吧

我不介意看第二次
所以如果還沒找到伴去看的再來問我嚕

紀念 - 畢學富教練

剛剛才收到信有關畢教練往生的消息
本來就有打算下禮拜二回去聽校友音樂會
也順便看看他

最後一次看到他是去年我去聽個音樂會的時候
但沒機會跟他打招呼
怎麼也沒想到那竟然是最後一次見到他

告別式確定是再下個禮拜三8月27日下午1時於台北市立第二殯儀館景仰廳舉行
如果剛好有看到的人
可能的話就過去送送教練吧!!

學妹有做個網頁登記音樂會跟公祭的事項
http://spreadsheets.google.com/viewform?key=paMSvdPXryN3gv5BABqzNLA

Beijing City Tour

My first time spending weekend in Beijing. It was a relaxing day yesterday after one week hard fight. So I just went for body message here yesterday afternoon. The one I went for is a local one called, Trendy Stone Spa. Other than the 60 minutes Hot Stone Spa, I also did body message. The service is ok but the facilities is considered old to me. During the message, I was told that my liver and gall are not very good as my neck and shoulder are so tight. Besides, I also have Breast Hyperplasia and the left side has more severe symptom. The therapist was jocking with me that it could be because I don't really speak out my mind to release my emotion. So the left side also where the heart is has more serious symptoms. So today, I try to relax further more as I plan it a Miniature Palace Day as I'm not yet planning to visit Forbidden City.

The first stop of the day is Yong He Gong(雍和宮). It was a residence place for one of the Qing Dynasty Empire before he assumed the Empire position and therefore, it kept this place and make it a temple for Budda.


I actually can smell the smock far far away because there are a lot of people praying there but it's not allowed to take pictures inside those temples. There are quite a number of temples there for different Budda and others. A very beautiful place to see the traditional Chinese buildings and I can imagine how magnificent Forbidden City would be.

After this, I went to Guozi Jian Street where, Confucius Temple and Guozi Jian (the highest education institutions back then), are. This street is famous for those traditional buildings/sites and the nice scene.


Confucius played a very important role in Chinese History and Culture. The concept and behavior they provoked are the guidelines for people even nowadays.

Interestingly, this statue was actually donated and devoted by a Taiwanese, 楊清欽, from Taichung 鹿港.

This is the very few places that I can take pictures inside the hall and from the setting and decoration, we can tell the Qing Style it has because of the Manchu style decoration.


Then, the next stop is Guozi Jian, the highest education institute, at that time. There is an interesting place for people to pray for their examination result to pass and enter the schools they want.



Along the street, there are some interesting cafe place and shops, that I found the interesting combination of Modern and Traditional at one of the oldest areas in Beijing.


It was very hot today and I had been sweating like hell. After visiting these few place, it's about noon time already and the next place I want to go is Price Gong's Mansion & Garden. Therefore, I decided to go Jiumen Beijing Snack Restaurant(九門小吃), where they gathered all the famous local snacks.



This place is full of people and the NO AIRCON. I was sweating like hell but I think since I've came all the way here, I just picked some interesting food to try. To be frank, I don't really find them very testy and it seems to be selling the "NAME" actually. Or maybe, it's just too hot that I can't enjoy the food.

After the snacks, I went to the Prince Kong's Mansion. It only opened up the garden side to public as the building side itself was campus for Beijing Musical School and there is nothing much left to see already. The garden was not so big though it's really quite beautiful but those in Southern China are much better I believe.



I was heading back to hotel after this as I have been walking non-stop from morning. However, the taxi driver was very chatting and shared with me some more history about Beijing as he is the so-called OLD BEIJING because they have at least 5 generations living in Beijing. He told me about the Royal Temple (東嶽廟) as that is the temple only for Royal and high level people until 1999.

So I just went as he suggested. The entrannce price is double as most of the places I visited and there is a guide bringing me along the way. This temple has been established 700 years ago and it was very famous for granting Wishes. They have 8 types of different wishes for oneself, parents and children. Since I'm here and convinced by the taxi driver, I decided to take the 8 wishes as well though the cost is quite high. So I'm would be getting better and better as I've just walked through the path all the previous emperors and famous people walked to go for their goals.

Haircut

Had haircut this evening at Franck Provost, a hair salon at Beijing. It was highly recommended by our chairman when he visited Beijing. Then our GM also tried and brought me over. It's my 2nd time doing my haircut here and I found it quite good. It's not very different from my usual hairstyle as I want to keep it long. I like the service here and it's really quite easy to manage and maintain my hair.

Malaysia Food in Beijing

Just arrived this evening after leaving from Taipei in the morning. As the direct flight between Taiwan and China is only available during weekend, I still need to transit via Hong Kong as it's a TUESDAY. So it practically takes me the whole day traveling from Home to Beijing.

This time, I also helped one of my colleagues relocated from Taipei to Beijing bring one of his luggage. Therefore, he treated me for a good dinner tonight. We went to Awana and we didn't know it's Malaysia food until we reached there but we still decided to go in as it's recommended by someone.

Food is quite OK but the price is VERY VERY high. Maybe to us, it's like any Hawker food in Singapore and Malaysia but it became a delicacy here in Beijing. We ordered one Otak-Otak (really just ONE), Nasi Lemak, Sayur Tohu, Teh Tarik to share and it costs RBM130.


Would not really recommend unless you really really hungry for Malaysia/Singapore food because of the price but it's really a good restaurant with nice food and atmosphere.

Singapore

Back in Singapore last week to register my Singapore citizenship but I didn't really get it done actually but that's the story on Monday. Let's start from the weekend as my best friend, Grace, happened to be in Singapore as well.

The hotel cost in Singapore has been more than double because of the whatever demand. So I booked Grand Central Hotel at Orchard because they offer 130nett for 7 days stay. That's considered good price based on the location. However, the hotel room is really terrible. I have very high threshold for accommodation because of my traveling experience. I can stay at backpackers place or even some those budget places but I can't really stand places old, smelly and suffocating. On that night itself, I just moved to Grace's hotel at Swissotel and of course it's much much better as it's the 5 star standard.




Swissotel is also one of my favorite places in Singapore as I really love the City Space at the 70 floor because of the view, atmosphere and the drinks there. On Sunday night, Grace and I decided to be the tourist to visit the newly open Singapore Flyer. Can't really take any picture because of the blue light inside the capsule. The conclusion is the view and atmosphere at City Space is really very good. :)


On Monday, I went to Taipei Representative office in SG to renounce my Taiwan citizenship but only then I realized that I need some other documents from the tax office and also the police. I actually checked with one of my colleagues on what to prepare for this renouncement but she total forgot about mentioning this part to me. Therefore, I didn't renounce my Taiwan citizenship and therefore can't continue with the registration part in the afternoon. When I know about this, I started to wonder if it's a sign to ask me not to do this conversion as things happen for a reason. Anyway, in the end, I still decided to do it but just not sure if Singapore government would allow me to delay until Oct as I won't be able to be there for another 5 days until next quarter.

Anyway, the only thing I realized this trip is the cost of living in Singapore is SKY HIGH right now. I used to say the taxi fare there is very cheap but nowadays it's easily double digit for any trip with all the surcharge. As to hotel, it's even more terrible. After the first 2 nights at Swissotel, I moved to Hotel Link.


This kind of place is charging SG$225 nett which is terrible to me. I would really need to book early for my usual backpacker's place at Hive Backpackers Hostel.