曖昧

Friends dedicated this song, 曖昧, by 楊丞琳 to me when I was back in Taiwan. It was about my personal situation but I started to like this song because of this melody and her voice. Just share with you here.

曖昧讓人受盡委屈　
找不到相愛的證據
何時該前進　何時該放棄
連擁抱都沒有勇氣

只能陪你到這裡　
畢竟有些事不可以
超過了友情　還不到愛情
遠方就要下雨的風景

到底該不該哭泣　
想太多是我還是你
我很不服氣　也開始懷疑
眼前的人　是不是同一個真實的你

曖昧讓人變得貪心　
直到等待失去意義
無奈我和你　寫不出結局
放遺憾的美麗　停在這裡

Trip back HOME

Was back at Taipei for the past 10 days. It's a holiday that I have been waiting for as I really need to relax a bit and meet up with friends and family to get recharged. Had dinner with my cousin and my dear 6-month old nephew last Monday. He really grows up very fast as he is so much taller and heavier than the first time I met him this Aug. Only now I realized that I might be better in taking care of kids than my dad. At least, he was not crying when I was carrying him. Maybe he just wanted to give me some "face" as we don't have chance to see each other so often.

It is my first Christmas back in Taipei after I started working in Singapore. It is very different as finally I have it in cooling Winter instead of HOT weather in Singapore. Besides, it is one of the coldest days in Taipei. We were walking around on Friday night and took this picture in front of Taipei 101, one of the most famous landmark in Taipei now. It's really great to see old friends around again.


We went to a very nice restaurant on Christmas Eve. It's actually run by one of the previous singer in Taiwan and the place is called "龍君兒的家" and recommended by Cindy. They converted part of their home to be the restaurant with fantastic view over Pacific Ocean at the North East Coast of Taiwan. And we had a great 10 courses lunch there. The dishes are quite nice and delicious though the price is at a high side. However, the nice setup and the view may justify the price already.

The most interesting part of the Christmas Eve is we went back to our uni for the count down. It is very different after 4 years. They have a few more new buildings and parks. The environment is really getting better and better in terms of facilities. We just sat in front of the central library and looked at the sky of Taipei. That was fascinating because of the friends around and unique experience that I have never had it even when I was back in uni. I guess everything is just different now after looking back. School campus is so much more enjoyable and quiet compared with the busy schedule and noisy environment we had in office.

Last day, we finally went to our favorite KTV to enjoy the nice food and the wonderful feeling to release our stress via SINGING. This is a very unique culture in Taiwan I guess and that's what I missed so much when staying away from HOME.

It's coming to be my 5th year in Singapore. Guess it's time to decide where to go for the next stage of my life. It is going to be a difficult decision as I may feel a bit confused when talking about " home". To be frank, I felt so much more relaxed and comfortable when back to my small room in Singapore. Maybe it's because I have stayed at this place for my past 2 years and that's what I'm really familiar with. However, it might be time to search the next destination and that's just another process in my life I guess.

Julie's Wedding

Was back for Julie's wedding last last Sat. I was involved for the whole day as I'm the "SISTERs" who are responsible to make the groom showing his capability to marry our dear bride. We had three stages for the groom.

Stage 1: We came out some questions about their first date which was almost 14 years ago. I can only say that the groom is not so good at remembering things so he just need to swallow some more wasami to pass this.

Stage 2: We were asking the groom to list down a few principles how he is going to cherish our dear bride in the years to come. Guess he was too excited and nervous that he can't really come out anything so once again Wasami for him. : )

Stage 3: Physical fitness is very important for the benefits of our dear bride. So here the groom was asked to carry the bride around the room to show how "strong" he is. All the "SISITERs" were so crazy that we asked the groom to do it again and again with every individual person showing up in the room. We were all joking that the groom just got to hang on to it so that he would not lose face at all. : )

The dinner is quite an impressive one as they had over 50 tables and over 600 guests. What really impressed me is the live video and the huge number of projectors they have to broadcast at the venue. Would try to get some more pictures to show you guys later.

2005

It marked the ending of my year end marathon shows yesterday. The PC Fair in JB is my last show of this year. Finally, I finished all of them this year.

Looking back for this year, I have been through quite a lot of changes in both work and personal life. I have a bigger coverage and responsibility in work. I finished all the classes for my MBA courses and left with only 2 papers, 1 dissertation and 3 months to go. Seems I'm getting along with all the changes well.

Would be going back home this Fri and would step into the next stage of my life this weekend also. Guess I should spend these few days to think about my planning and direction for 2006, a WHOLE NEW YEAR to come.

走路去紐約

每一次我想見到你 就要飛
無論地球上哪一角 我一天就到
用飛的原因不外乎 時間太少
你想擁有我每一秒 你今天就要

我飛的機會太多
有時因為你 有時為我自己
我飛過好幾萬哩
不覺得 那會是距離

突然很想不要飛 想走路去紐約
看看這一路我曾經忽略的一切
走路去紐約 也讓感情在時間裡
有機會 沉澱自己

Very touched when I listen to the latest album "Walking to New York" from Matilda Tao. She is one of the Taiwanese Female Artists that I really admire. She represents the so-called "Woman in the New Era": independent, confident and aggressive. In a way, this song depicts the feelings I have lately and guess that's the reason why I'm moved when I first listened to it.

The LAST Class of My MBA Course

Today is the LAST Class of my WHOLE MBA Course. It is really a challenge for me to cover both work and study at the past 19 months, but I managed to do it. Now, I only left with 2 assignments, 2 papers and 1 dissertation and I would finish them by March 2006. Finally, I'm going to start the next stage of my life soon. Don't think I'm going to take up any courses for the following few years as I need the flexibility to work as well as enjoy my LIFE.

Ha Ha.... : ) CONGRATULATIONS to ME!!

P.S. Finally, our class took the group pictures but it's at the end of the course. At least, got some proof to have all these classmates around for the past 19 months.

My Love Type

Just broswed a interesting website and did this Love Personality Test. The result seems to be quite true for my case.

Your love type: About 2-3% of the U.S. population possesses the combination of traits that make up this personality type. Being an INTJ means that you can be a real intellectual powerhouse. Chances are that your mind is almost constantly engaged by one fantastic thought or another. Because you're the kind who is highly creative, keeping up with you can be like riding an intellectual roller coaster. But your zest for life usually goes beyond your own big ideas and endeavors. You can take real pleasure in helping others to reach their dreams as well. As a result, INTJs like you can be wonderful coaches to help people attain their goals. You seem to know how to bring out the best in people.In relationships, your type is known for deeply valuing your commitments. Not the kind to be an open book, you're often hesitant to share your feelings with others — especially in the early stages of a relationship. You may take a long time to admit the depth of your feelings for someone. It may also take some coaxing to get you to share personal details about your life. This hesitance may be a form of protection for you since you know that you can develop very strong attachments to others. It also likely comes from your sense of loyalty. You seem to want to make sure that you can stand behind your words before you speak them. Once you do open up, you can love sharing your thoughts with someone you're close to. Still, you're not often the type to gush about your emotions. Instead, you'll let people know in little ways how you really feel. INTJs like you will reveal yourself to another person but only when you find someone with the right key to your mind and heart.

What makes you a good partner and friend?

You know how to stay true to your word
You can be an amazing resource for information
You possess almost boundless curiosity and imagination
You're a supportive and encouraging partner

Nov 2005

This is the last day of Nov 2005. It is considered one of the busiest month and toughest month I have ever got. I am very busy with the continuous exhibitions and events in both Singapore and Malaysia. Therefore, I really quite a lot and only now I realized how tiring it is. So I really admire those international sales people back in Taiwan that they can travel around the world like nobody's business.

Besides, this month is also very tough for me because there are a few small things going on at my work place. It is actually a small issue but I think it affects how I look at my work a lot. We are used to work on weekend or public holidays as we are working on consumer products. Events and exhibitions are part and parcel of our work life. Originally, we are given off day in lieu for working over weekend. I think it is normal as it means the organization recognizes the extra effort and time the staff put in. However, because of some miscommunication and misunderstanding, the management decided to stop this mechanism.

To be frank, I do not really care about the number of off days I got because I always have quite a number of off days being forfeited at the end of year as I can't finish them. To me, the work is always my first priority but I would try to make use of the off days to either be back home or have some holidays around. However, it is more about the feelings we, the staffs, have on this kind of changes as there is no proper communication made on this issue. I am not resistant on changes but I believe staffs need to be involved and explained on some changes involving themselves so that they can understand the reason why and the necessity of those changes. Furthermore, the side effect of this changes may cause some staffs losing the enthusiasms to organize events or exhibitions over weekend as their extra efforts are not recognized in the common way. I was quite upset at the beginning but I guess everything is all right now as I always put those negative thinking and emotions behind very fast and hopefully we are back to the orignial system already.

Anyway, this is the last day of Nov and I got only three more weeks to finish this peak season. Then I would be back to Taiwan for Julie's Wedding (You guys got to check out her wedding photos. She looks SO grogrous.) and enjoy my one week holiday back HOME.

Beside Me?

Has been crazily busy this month and would be like this until the middle of Dec as year end is always our peak season with lots of events and activities. Besides, I also need to travel a lot to Malaysia as I'm working on that market now also.

After this busy schedule and frequent traveling, I started wondering what I want out of this. I think I can still hang on because I have passion toward my work, but now I already felt exhausted and struggle to go through the following 3 tough weeks ahead.

I seem to be in a cycle. I was lost at the beginning of the year but got motivated and stimulated by a friend at the middle of the year. Now coming to the end of the year, I start to reflect on what I have done for the past 6 months. Seems I did have done something different and better. Hopefully, things would keep going on and I would find some other motivation to keep me going.

However, the deep feeling inside me now is "lonely" as most of the days I'm busy with work, and lately I spent quite a number of nights at hotel. What's "beside me" actually? Yes, I can definitely look for friends or families, but sometimes the person I want to talk to is not available or I just can't find a suitable person to share the particular feeling I have at that moment. So what's really left beside me at this kind of lifestyle? Another big question for me to find out.

Went through today with two extreme emotions but good thing is I ended up with the good one. Was exhausted physically and tired mentally this evening, but met up a old friend after working at the show. We talked about life lately and the busy schedule we both had for this month. At the end, he mentioned he forgave me for some decision I made previously. It really relieved me and made me feel that I still got good friends around that I can share life with.

I still got someone beside me I guess.

House Hunting

Just got the bad news that they are going to knock down my sweet home so we got to find another place by the end of this year. It is really a sad news to me as I really like my place a lot. It's a very nice cozy room that I can really have a good rest and I believe this is also one of the best options I can find in Singapore in terms of environment. It should be quite difficult to find another place like this. Too Bad!! Got to start house hunting again. For those who haven't visit my place yet, you may want to plan some trips before end of year so that at least you can experience the nice place you can see from the pictures here. You would definitely love it also. : )

Lipstick Jungle

Bought quite a few books last week during Kinokuniya's 20% discount promotion, the first one I finished is Lipstick Jungle by Candace Bushnell, the writer for Sex and the City. It's about three very successful and powerful women in New York City and how they live differently in this new era. The whole book is very interesting to me as it describes the lives that I desire in terms of success in career. Women are getting more power and control over a lot more things. However, there are a lot more sad things that women nowadays got to learn to handle.

There are more and more women taking up the role of "provider", so-called "the man", in the family. However, men still can't get away the stereotype they need to be in power. Or I should say the society still can't accept this kind of changes. So men like those are losing their self esteems and it may cause some family crisis. I guess I myself also can't get away with this concept. So I am actually looking for men who I think strong enough and can take care of me both financially and mentally. However, it's getting tougher and tougher as women nowadays can afford almost everything we require in life. So financial part seems to be only a symbol but just required. The mental part became more crucial in the whole relationship but that's also the most difficult part as people nowadays may not really have time to understand and spend with each other to get the mental satisfaction.

So for my case, I actually came out a theory. I want to find someone who is compatible with me in terms of aggressiveness in work. However, if both of us are working towards our own career, it may end up that either one of us feels that the other party is selfish and only focus on work. So the best case is to find someone who can also be my partner in work, but that's only the ideal situation. It's so difficult to find someone to live together already. It would be even more difficult to find one to live and work together at the same time. Anyway, this is just a theory and need to be proved.

Mistake

SORRY!

All About Love

Watched " All About Love" last weekend. It's about a guy who regreted that he didn't spend enough time with his wife when she died of car accident. 6 years later, he met a lady who got transplatned his wife's heart. It's about how people should treasure what they have instead of regreting when they really lost it.

I think to most of us, our first priority now is our career. So we spend most of our time and energy on work. Others like family, friends,and life might be the 2nd priority or not even on the priority list. However, I was really touched and started to think about my priority in life after watching this movie. The actor changed his life totoally from a successful doctor to a normal emergency officer after he lost his wife, because he regreted a lot and can't enjoy the life again with the regret.

How about me? I left my family to work in Singapore. Though I have a very close relationship with my parents and we almost talked everyday, it is still different from really spending time with them. After all this, I realized that my familiy should be on my first priority and I need to spend more time with them. So I'm planning to go back more frequently next year for Chinese New Year, Mother's Day, and Father's Day at least.

Work is really important but family is more important to me as I have only my parents. I can't imagine life withouth them. I might have a bigger familiy with my husband and kids in the future but parents are so important to me and I should really start thinking of taking good care of them.

Anna's Visit

This is really a very happening month. We have our 4th guest in town this month. Anna was the international MC for AIESEC in Singapore 2 years ago. So we spend one year here together. That was a interesting period as I was still quite involved in AIESEC activities at that time with our same batch of trainees. She is here again for holiday and enjoy all the nice & familiar places and food in Singapore. We got to meet up again in Europe next year. ; )

Hong Kong Fantasy

Only decided to visit Hong Kong last weekend on last Thursday. This is really a very random and last minute trip. I bought the ticket and applied for my HK Visa on Thursday and just flew on Sat early morning. I just want to have a break as I would have a very crazy 2 months because of both my work and study. Year end is always the peak season for us and this is going to be my last semester for MBA course. I got to cover both work and study plus a management project to end my MBA course early next year. After checking my schedule last Thursday, I decided to go somewhere to enjoy my precious weekend which I don't need to work and meet up old friends. ; )

Disney is definitely one of the places that I want to visit in Hong Kong. So I went straight to Disney on Sat from airport. This is my first time visiting Disneyland and I really had a lot of fun.



Right after I reached, they just started the parade of the day. You can see all the different carton figures and a lot of performances over there, which is one of the biggest attraction sof the park.

After that, I started my adventures in Hong Kong Disneyland. There are four sections: Fantasyland, Adventureland, Tomorrowland, and Main Street U.S.A. The most attractive part to me is the Fantasyland which reminded me all the memory I had when young. They are so familiar with me and I really forgot all the pressures from work and life when I was there with them.

As you know, there are a lot of people in the park especially during weekend. I'm not so interested in those facilities. So I spend most of my time on the various performances and queuing for taking pictures with my favorite carton figures. One of them is definitely Winnie the Pooh. This is my favorite picture from the 100 over pictures I took in these 2 days. I just looked so cute with Tiger and Pooh. Do you guys agree? ; )

I actually went for 3 performances: Mickey's PhilharMagic, The Golden Mickeys and Festival of the Lion King. My favorite is actually Mickey's PhilharMagic. This is a magical 3D show with all the different carton figures though leading by Mickey. You can see all the familiar carton figures running around you because of the 3D effects and they even add in special effect like smell and water. That was really a lot of fun. : ) It's a pity that I can't take pictures as the normal camera can not present the 3D effect.

These are pictures for the Golden Mickeys which is also quite nice but I guess I was a bit tired that I almost dozed off or maybe it's just not as interesting as the 3D show. : Q

I actually spent about 30 minutes to queue for taking pictures with Mickey and Minny each. Though it's quite time consuming and tiring, I was so excited when I was standing next to them. It's just like your childhood dream came true finally. I guess that's the reason why they called it Fantasyland.

The last show I went is Festival of Lion King which is a 360 degree open stage for Lion King. The special effect is really good especially cute Simba. I believe it's a robot but the way it moves is just so cute that you got to witness itself.

The last and the best part of the day in Disney is the fireworks. It's really amazing with the special effects and the castle background.

After that, I rushed back to town to meet up with Tippy, Candy and Esther, the Hong Kong AIESEC MC members the same year as me. We have known each other since 1999. It's always good to meet up with old friends especially when my last trip to Hong Kong is already 2 years back. We went to a nice hot pot restaurant.

Thanks for Stella for offering me a nice place to stay in Hong Kong. Stella is also a very special friend of mine. We also knew each other since 1999 when she was in Taiwan for IPM. We are actually born on the same date but she is just 2 years earlier than me. : ) She is really capable that she actually bought this flat on Hong Kong island after working for only 6 years. The housing in Hong Kong is really very expensive. So I can only say she worked very hard and I really like the place a lot. ; )

On Sunday morning, I went to visit the Hong Kong Electronic Show, which is one of the major regional show for electronic industry. I guess I just can't ignore things related to my work. It's also great to meet Willy, one of my AIESEC seniors, again. It has been a while from our last meeting back in Taipei.

It's a pity that I didn't have time to try all the food that weekend. Thanks for stella that I had one of the best breakfast with the nice bread and special Hong Kong milk tea. That's really refreshing and a good start for the day.

Actually, I was planning to meet up another friend on Sun afternoon as he was working in Hong Kong because of the show. So I took the chance to walk around the city and tried the authentic dessert, the milk strew, while waiting. This one is really nice as it is very smooth and seems the shop I visited is a famous one as it's very crowded even in the afternoon time.

It's a pity that I didn't manage to meet up with that friend as he was busy with meetings and I need to rush to airport to catch my flight back to Singapore. It is still a very refreshing trip for me and I really had a lot of fun in Disneyland. Now I really want to visit the other bigger Disneyland as this one in Hong Kong is really quite small. I believe the others would be even better.

Grace's Visit

This is really a very happening month. We have our 3rd guest, Grace, at our place this month last weekend. Grace is Ceci and my best friend. We knew each other since 1999 and Grace & I were working in the same company as trainees before. Grace is actually the first trainee in my company. Thanks for her so that I can adapted to the environment much easier at the beginning stage of my traineeship. That was really a great time when we four, Grace, Sandy, Jean and I were working together.

Happy Birthday! Grace! I was supposed to be here this weekend but decided to go Hong Kong instead. So we just practially just swapped and spend time with the same groups at different locations. It's kind of fun but I promise I would be back to Hong Kong again soon before my visa expires. ; )

The Sisterhood of the Traveling Pants

On the flight back to Singapore, I watched this movie, The Sisterhood of the Traveling Pants. This is about a 4 best friends growing up together and never part from each other until the summer vacation when they are 16. They bought a "magic" jeans before they leave for different places as this jeans fit perfectly for all 4 of them though they may have different sizes. This magic pants seem change their life at that summer holiday.

The attractive part for me is the story for Lena. Lena is like any "good" girl in any group. She would not show off her beauty as that is more about the personality. Then she meet someone in Greece where her grandparents are. He is kind of "enemy" for her family. The story is like "Romeo and Juliet", but she managed to change herself and express her feelings because of him.

Guess that's the breakthrough I want also. I have been hiding my true feelings as I think I would be very vulnerable if I show how I really feel. So I actually run away from what I really want as I think I would get hurt easily especially on relationships. However, I decide to change all this by giving myself a chance to change and to try.

It maybe crazy but I have never done any really crazy thing up to now, but it would be different soon.